This is what I was greeted with upon checking my e-mail this morning:
"Small member? Order male enhancement meds today"
"Women want you to have a bigger tool"
And finally, the one that made me cringe slightly:
"Add 4-6 inches to your pen1s in 6 weeks!"
4-6 inches? ...In 6 weeks? What?!
So I asked myself: "Self? Do you really want to be toting around a 10-12 inch man-handle everywhere you go, in addition to having to explain to potential lovers that you are a freak of nature and that you might actually rupture their spleen during lovemaking?"
I considered the question. Long and hard.
And um...no. I don't feel like having to roll my penis into a coil just so I can fit into my pants. I really don't feel like dealing with the stares from awestruck onlookers in the locker room, and I *really* don't feel like enduring the inevitable pain of my poor boy branch banging against my knees when I go for a run.
In an ideal world, my penis would magically appear when it's time to be used. At all other times maybe it would hide in a secret sheath somewhere, so I don't have to awkwardly adjust myself on airplane seats or when crossing my legs. But...that's just not reality.
Far from it.
Women won't ever know the joys of having to constantly port around their externally mounted reproductive bits. In fact, they get to wear things like yoga pants and 'boy shorts' without ever having to worry about their 'twig and berries' getting CRUSHED.
Count your blessings, ladies.
And don't give me this BS about having to deal with boobs. Those things are made mostly of fat. They don't contain hypersensitive nodules thick with nerves that run into your gut. In fact, they secrete milk sometimes. It's like you have a fucking SNACK BAR on your chest.
In summary, no, spam e-mail senders. I'm quite happy with my modestly apportioned package and I don't wish to become even more miserable than whatever merciless god created me to be.
1 comment:
Dear Red Coals,
I agree with your sentiments about the larger penis. Although, I must say on behalf of women (or most of the women that I know)penis size does matter to some extent (obvious pun), but not in the way most of the world may think it does. For example; Most men that have to super size their condoms to "Magnums" typically brag about it in a passive jovial way prior to engaging in sex with them, clearly hinting "You won't be disappointed". In reality is insulting, because my attraction to someone is confidence, intellect and a healthy self esteem. The "Venti" size is or can be nice, but ultimately with men that have this preconceived notion women will come falling at their feet and stay faithful forever if one discovers he has a "Venti" size penis, is incredulous. It doesn't make sex any better than it is with ourselves, really. Albeit, when you meet someone with that special "Chemistry" which leaves your mouth watering when you see them or think of them, cannot keep your clothes on around that one person because they leave you feeling so good about who they are and about who you are, makes you dizzy with laughter when you see them smile, would stop anything to have five seconds with them just kissing or a fondling make out session in the broom closet down the hall, you ache for them in their absense and both almost always reach orgasm simultaneously...... then size truly doesn't matter. The confidence with your ability to make a woman "Happy to be a woman" far surpasses the 12".
Just my thoughts.
:)
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