Positivity All Up In This Bitch

The wiser of us say that if you want something really badly, then present your wish to the universe.

"Put it out there," they'll say, "and the universe will provide it for you in time."

Upon first hearing this, my mind defaults to a skeptic's position, generating questions that never get satisfactory answers, even from the most vocal proponents of this 'universe wish granting service' they always seem so high on:

- "Put it out there" entails what, exactly? Saying an audible prayer of sorts? Writing it down, folding the paper into an airplane and launching it off a mountaintop? Scribbling my wish in lipstick across my bathroom mirror then chanting sacred words at it four times daily?

- What happens after I do this, mechanistically? Is there a god or tribunal which reviews my wish and deems it worthy or not of being answered?

- What happens to wishes of ill intention? If I were a madman and wished to burn the Earth, why should this wish be denied me? Who or what makes these judgments?

Etc...

Upon second hearing this, or maybe third or fourth, I stop asking so many questions and instead I grow curious about *why* such huge volumes of people ascribe to this when it's so obvious that it's steeped in faith unsupported in any way by hard evidence.

No one anywhere can prove this. There was a book written some years ago called The Secret which sort of attempted to prove it but let's be honest: this entire subject is way too amoebic and fluffy to fit into a compartment fit for studies, testing and produced data.

It's. Just. Wishful. Thinking. 

That's it. 

No numbers, no calculations, no statistics or trends, and - importantly - no guarantees. 

Proffering your wishes unto the universe promises nothing in return. You're not going to have any *real* degree of confidence that what you 'put out there' will come to you.

...or are you?

My thinking on this is changing now that I have reached a point in my life where I have exhausted every alternative at finding purpose and honest rhythm in my existence. Short of being in an existential crisis, I'm leaving nothing off the table. 

I have spent a lot of time in the past week experimenting with what I'll call a derivation of "The Secret". I would like to herein share how my opinion has changed.

My attempt at 'trying' this way of thinking (hoping, living) involves a very simple concept. Sure, it's ultra cliche' and worn out with every other self-help pamphlet you might find in a therapists waiting room. But here it is, anyway:

Positivity.

Here's what I have been trying; it's a very straightforward mantra - "Put positivity out there, make it your wish. Do this enough, and it will come back to you."

For very many years I have lived anathema to this business of living positively. Without getting into too many details, my brain has for decades been wired to be afraid, skeptical, anxious, reactive and - here's the kicker - negative. 

Who knows the myriad of factors that contributed to this. Thankfully, they're irrelevant to this post.

What does matter is that there is a *choice* involved here. Choosing to think differently about things. About every thing. All things. Because by definition, the universe is "all things", and if I'm going to put positivity out into the universe, then that necessarily has to mean putting positivity into all things. 

I put this into effect about 5 days ago and have been living it since.

Here is what I have noticed:

- I look strangers in the eye more often. 

- I smile more often. 

- I carry myself slightly taller, perhaps prouder. 

- I expect positive outcomes in the smallest of things (not spilling the gas from the nozzle when filling up, etc.)

- Conversations with people are easier, less forced. 

- I respond to negativity with its opposite, which is a massive departure from old habits. 

A good example of the last point is this: just yesterday I was driving out of a parking lot when I inadvertently took up a small part of the opposing lane of traffic. This was a very simple and honest mistake, however the driver of the oncoming pickup truck didn't think so. My window was down and as was his, and I heard him utter, "Asshole," while looking directly at me. 

Now. 

A few weeks ago I would have thrown my car into park, exited my vehicle and demanded that the gentleman and I resolve our obvious conflict right then and there. Because I simple cannot stand to allow another man insult me so outrageously and without defense of myself, right?

That is not what happened. 

Rather, I drew upon the return that the universe was owing me after my first few days of putting positivity out there - I smiled. 

That's right, I smiled. 

A grumpy dude in a truck looked me dead in the eye, called me an asshole and I smiled. 

I didn't even have to think twice about it; that's the odd thing. After having been thinking and acting positively for what was no more than 72 hours or so, I found that smiling back to an insult was almost instinctive. 

It felt truly bizarre. Never in my life have I reacted that way to such blatant disrespect. 

But it happened. And I am sure that because it happened, I was spared a long and painful internal dialogue, consisting at least of the following:

"How dare he. That douchebag. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."
"I hope that this guy has good dental insurance because he's about to lose some teeth."

"Doesn't he understand that I made an honest, small mistake in judgement? Why can't he SEE that? I must make him see this or my honor will be forever diminished."

"No one calls me an asshole without some kind of retort. I am less of a man if I don't do anything about this."

...but none of these lines of thinking even entered my mind.

I had trained my brain to be positive about ALL THINGS. That includes being called an asshole in a parking lot. 

As it turns out, there is merit to putting positivity out into the universe. Whether or not all of my problems are solved because of this is yet to be seen, but if I'm only going to judge from the changes I've seen in these past few days, then I'd say there's good reason to continue this trend. 

Today is still Monday. 

There are still bills to be paid, struggles to endure and challenges to overcome. 

But in every small thing I do, with it will go a measure of positivity. 

And, I'm banking, this will make all the difference.