A Near Death Experience in the Gym

Here's what just went down:

I picked a spot between two flat benches to do some dumbbell SLDL's. I started my set and - as I do - closed my eyes to focus on my movement.

Well, one of the benches beside which I was working was apparently already spoken for by a colossus of a lifter. I mean huge. This is the guy you stay away from for fear he'll spontaneously explode.

I didn't see him reacquire his bench until I finished up and noticed him lifting not inches from me. This was terribly awkward. I made nothing of it, however, and simply returned my weights and began walking off.

That is, until I heard him mutter something:

"Watch where you're lifting, bitch ass mark..."

He said this under his breath, and as I was wearing headphones, I don't think he intended for me to hear him. But I did.

What is a man to do?

I thought about his comment through the next few sets I had elsewhere in the gym...then I decided that I didn't want to just let this tension fester, so I confronted him about it.

"Hey man," I started, "I have a question for you."

He removed an earbud and gave me a look from the corner of one of his deep-set and bloodshot eyes.

"What?" he replied.

"Well, I just, you know, I saw you working out there I and I was just wondering - I had never heard the term before: bitch ass mark. What exactly does that mean?"

"It means a bitch," he replied, "You bumped me."

"I bumped you? Wait...what?" I said.

I had honestly no recollection whatsoever of coming into any sort of contact with this dude. Scouts honor. There was no bumping had, and I now found myself in a position where that needed to be understood.

He pulled out his other earbud and squared his look at me.

"You know, we can take this outside if you want," he said, "I will fucking fuck you up."

Adrenalin exploded into my system and I could tell that he himself was there already. This dude was right - he wouldfucking fuck me up. I felt like bolting...but I stayed myself.

"It's not about that," I returned, "I genuinely do not remember bumping you. If I had, trust me I would have immediately apologized."

At this point this beast of a man and I were gathering stares from others in the gym. The tension was pretty thick.

"You need to watch where you work out," he said.

"You're right. We all do - and if I bumped you I swear to god I don't remember it, and I apologize," I finished.

He mumbled something incoherent and began turning back to his weights.

"We good?" I asked, offering a hand for him to shake.

"Yea," he replied.

And with that we shook hands, he returned to his weights and I redeemed myself from being a bitch ass mark.