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Hi there.

 

 
 

 

Lately you haven't been yourself and you've been coming across a bit jaded and sort of...you know...down. Am I right? Hmm? Am I?

 

 
 

 

I am, aren't I?

 

 
 

 

Of course I am. Nothing seems to be going right - your job is wearing you down, you don't feel like you're making the headway you expected by this point in your life and you just don't believe things are panning out according to how you planned them. I mean, when you look around you and size up others who are in situations similar to yours, you immediately discover that you're very certainly on the 'far left' of the bell curve of success.

 

 
 

 

Everyone else is making more money, having more sex, getting better benefits, driving nicer cars, buying bigger homes, taking more luxurious vacations and simply leading better lives. You're stuck behind a phone or keyboard for 9 hours a day only to come home to a pathetic excuse of an apartment where you'll hide from the day by escaping into some off-brand sci-fi novel or the latest issue of Harper's Magazine.

 

 
 

 

But maybe that's only to convince yourself that you're SO intellectual and above all the Rolling Stone-esque politico-socio-Americo-bullshit that sells like hotcakes out there for some reason. Oh and forget about getting laid. You have the confidence level of an earthworm and the only women who'd be stupid enough to fuck you would have to be expecting some sort of monetary compensation in return.

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING?? YOU ARE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. YOUR EARTHWORMNESS IS ONLY A RESULT OF YOUR OWN SELF-SUSTAINING AUTODEPRICATION.

 

 
 

 

HERE'S HOW TO STOP THIS:

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

Step 1 - Stop giving a fuck about whether or not you become anything or anyone, go anywhere, live to be any age, fuck any woman, drive any car, own any home, wear any brand of suit, shoe or cologne, take any trip to anywhere, have any kind of relationships with anyone or basically be alive for any reason other than to just be alive at all. The purpose of life is to live it and not to ornament it with superficial trinkets and worthless, corporeal pleasures that will all be for naught the day you die.

 

 
 

 

Step 2 - Start giving a fuck about the plight of others around you and the immeasurable shit that so many others have gone through that you will most likely not go through. Start being thankful that you don't have pancreatic cancer or scabies. Start taking notice of paraplegics, psychotics, those on death row (even wrongly so), infants hooked on crack and farmers who go to bed with aching, bloody hands just so they have a roof over their heads.

 

 
 

 

Step 3 - Laugh. Often. Not at anything in particular. Now that you don't give a fuck, just about EVERYTHING will seem funny or at least, funnier.

 

 
 

 

Step 4 - Understand that you can't change the general direction in which the world is going. There are things you can control and there are things you cannot. Know that things like escalating intra-national strife are going to happen or not, independent of what you do or how much or little you care about it.

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

Finally - Step 5.

 

 
 

 

Know that when you die nothing will matter for you going forward, even if you did have 10 million dollars to leave your 4 kids.

 

 
 

 

You won't be around to see them spend it. When you're gone, you're gone and nothing you've 'acquired' will amount to a hill of beans.

 

 
 

 

What WILL matter will reside only in your soul.

 

 
 

 

It's there where you'll draw on things like metaphysical knowledge, human empathy, understanding and life experience.

 

 
 

 

Don't be so ignorant as to think that you'll be sharing a cloud with your ancestors, eating ambrosia and viewing those you left behind from afar.

 

 
 

 

Your soul is yours. Not your wife's, not your father's, not your boss's and certainly not your children's.

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

 
 

 

Start living as if you believed in even 50% of what is written here and I assure you that you will grow into a happier person in a matter of days.